Diary of an AVON™️ LADY

A place where my love for Makeup, Skin Care, and Beauty can all come together. Hope you enjoy reading all about my AVON™️ Business and Lifestyle!

My original plan for this evening…

Diary of a Republican woman, living in the world today.

Well hello, my fellow internet friends and blog readers! I had this amazing plan to put my 22 month old daughter to sleep, get all comfy and cozy in my PJ’s, get my adorable chihuahua in bed with me, and relax while drinking a cup of coffee and watching some Dateline. Unfortunately, my plan was spoiled because sadly, when I was watching Dateline, my “wonderful” comcast cable went out on me. It was just that fast that my mind went from happy, fun, cozy woman to sad, depressed, crying little girl who just missed my Mama. You see, I went to the cable box to do the thing we all LOVE TO DO, unplug our cable boxes and count to ten, before plugging it back in and waiting 10 minutes for it to actually work again. After I performed this most ANNOYING ritual, I was looking at my black TV screen that kept saying “Welcome, this may take a moment” and I started to think about something HYSTERICALLY FUNNY that my gorgeous daughter did today. She turned on her iPad, went to YouTube Kids, turned on the hot dog song from Disney Channels Mickey Mouse Club, got up on a small chair and started dancing by bobbing up and down to the song with her hands in the air. At the time it did not dawn on me, that my mom would never see that adorable moment that I snuck a video of, but for some weird reason while that screen was black it popped into my head and I felt like someone had sucker punched my chest, leaving me with absolutely no air left in my lungs. It just flashed in my brain, over and over, “YOUR MOM WILL NEVER EVER SEE THIS” and I just let out this yelp and started to cry my eyes out. Not that crazy hysterical cry, where you cannot breathe and your actually screaming, but that cry where you stare blankly into the distance and tears just roll down your cheeks uncontrollably. I really wish that would stop happening and I would be able to go a day without thinking about all the things my daughter’s Munga, (my moms name for Grandma) will never see. I believe it is almost impossible for that to happen when you have a 22 month old, that both you and your mother never thought would ever even exist. You see, my life has been full of ups and downs, insane crazy moments, totally fucked up things that I have done, sad but true stories of days that my mother did not even think I would live until the next day, and if you continue on this journey with me, in my own words, you will learn all sorts of things about me, about life, how I feel about being a mother and wife, how sometimes I wish I could just fade into the background where no one can see me, but most importantly, I believe, you will just have an awesome time reading all about my crazy life. I’ve been waiting for the perfect time to write my first blog, and for some reason my mind kept telling me to get up, grab the laptop and start this thing, or you never ever will. It has always been a dream and goal of mine to at least TRY and do this thing. I am proud of myself for FINALLY writing my very first REAL thing to go live online. At least it made me stop crying my eyes out about my mom. If nothing else, if no one reads this, at least I will know that I actually followed through with something I was wayyyyyyy to afraid to do in the past. Now that my head is pounding with a migraine, I am gonna FINALLY go and execute my original plan for the night…

Stay tuned, I will be back and I will have something very worth reading and HOPEFULLY relating to, even if it is just a little.

Goodnight everyone, hope your night goes as well as my second try is.

My truth…

Diary of a Republican woman, living in the world today.

20161213_131730000_iOSHello, all the people who are amazing enough to read this.  This one is for all of the people who believe in me enough to read me, this one is for you exclusively.  So, as I began this journey of writing, it all really was just such a joke to me.  I mean really, I am gonna start writing something and people would actually read it; Ppppfffffftttt, yeah right.  I do not know why really, I must have had such little belief in myself as a human being,  creative person, or woman capable of reaching others in a way that maybe, just maybe, they  might need at that exact moment.  I forgot about that little April, the girl who dreamt about amazing, beautiful, outlandish shit because, that’s what we did as children, in our own minds, in our hearts, in our imaginations, all things were capable and acheivable.  As a child, I believed that I was capable of anything.  I used to dream of having this amazing group of friends FOREVER, all of us going to college together, all of us getting these unbelievable jobs together, getting married, having children that all played with one another, while we drank wine and gossiped.  Some people actually wound up doing that, and congrats to you on that!  It must be incredibly hard, but very meaningful, fulfilling, and rewarding, unfortunately out of all of that dreaming I never managed to do anything even remotely close to holding all of something like that together.  I wound up going down a separate path all together in life where I was lucky to have kept myself together, but lets save that story for another read shall we! LOL

Anyway, so what I really want to get across here with this piece, is the childish and innocent way our thoughts and emotions shaped us into, who and what we are today.  You see what happened was,  I lost that little girl in me that existed all those years ago.  I just, somewhere along the way started believing that not such great things were possible anymore. I forgot about that beautiful, strong, funny, outgoing, hyper, talkative girl with a million friends, cheerleading practice, and all the confidence in the world.  I forgot about her because, throughout life it all gets stripped away piece by piece, word by word, person by person.  Maybe someone tells you, “You talk too much” or “Why do you always act that way?”  Every time something is said to you, that makes you feel less than, a little piece of that strong and confident little girl goes away somewhere until she is 100% gone and long forgotten.  I am so grateful that when I starting this blog, I told that voice in my head to SHUT THE FUCK UP, cause it was time I started to be that little girl again, except instead of that little girl, I stand here an even stronger, more beautiful, just as talkative and hyper, but wayyyyyy funnier WOMAN today.  In life we only get one chance and that’s it.  We do not get to go back after it’s all over, said and done, and say to whoever, “No, wait, I need a do over”.  In life, you may have many different chapters, many different time periods, different friends, husbands, wives, children.  Whatever the case may be, but you only have one shot at this thing called life. I for one will not sit around and allow that tiny voice that says no, say no anymore!  From here on out, I plan on taking life, grabbing it by the balls (pardon the analogy), and making it my bitch!!  Today, I tell all those people, who said all of those not so nice things to me, to suck it, because the only real person who can hold me back, or make me fail is me. Today, I am  successful, driven, hardworking, strong, and full of a confidence. I am a creative human being with ton of topics to share my truth about with all of you.   I am doing all of this with my audience in mind.  I want to speak my truth, while connecting with other woman in a way, that hasn’t been done in exactly this way before.  I have a ton of life experiences’, both good and bad, actually some VERY BAD, but like I said, that’s for another read.  I love being the woman I am growing into everyday.  That is something I could have said a few years ago, but I definitely wouldn’t have truly meant it.  Today, I am still working on myself, however I am working my ass off to become exactly who I always knew I could be, a woman who sits down at my laptop like Sarah Jessica Parker in Sex And The City, to write my truth, whatever truth that may be at any point in time.  The best part about my following through with my writing, I am becoming a way more confident, assured, less afraid of life woman, who believes in herself in ways, I had truly NEVER imagined in my wildest dreams that I truly could.

To anyone who is reading this, woman, man, teenager, mom, dad, grandmother, grandfather, gay, straight, bi-sexual, religious, not religious. I want everyone to know that, I hope I can write something that will relate to all of you, obviously it will all be in different ways, but what matters is that there’s a connection made somewhere.  For me, as the writer, that is the most important part.  I’ve been a lot of places, done a lot of things, (that I am proud of and some I am not) been counted out, almost died, lived, became a mother, a wife, an in law to an entirely new family.  If you name it, I have most likely been through it directly, or know someone who has.  I want this to be a safe haven for all of our little kids in us to go, grab a glass of wine or bottle of water, and be able to read, think about things, about life, and somehow all see life the way YOU see it, through my thoughts, emotions, struggles, joys, heartbreak, ups, downs, and in-beweens!  Stay tuned everyone, there will be a new blog for you to read by Saturday.  Hope you will drop by, and read my crazy thoughts!!

My morning from hell!

Diary of a Republican woman, living in the world today.

Hello fellow internet readers and bloggers, I was not planning on doing any writing today, but my daughter Rylie had other plans. You see, most mornings are quite routine around here. I wake up, have my coffee, catch up on the latest ANNOYING Social Media posts, and finally when all that is said and done, I get my baby girl out of bed. We have the “normal” run of the mill type situation; she eats her breakfast, I do the dishes, make my phone calls or texts, and proceed to get my girl out of her booster seat, play with her a little, give her the iPad for an hour, and watch one of my shows.

I am not pleased to say that, besides my best laid plans, things did not go quite as according to plan. It started when my daughter decided that not only was she not going to eat the cereal that I made her, but she was also going to dump it onto the floor, (milk and all) so that I could spend 20 minutes cleaning up the spilled Cheerios and scrubbing the milk out of the carpet. As if this was not enough, she then decided that she wanted to stand by the refrigerator and cry the most ungodly screaming cry that I have ever heard, because she wanted a piece of cheese. YES EVERYONE, she had a total meltdown over a Babybel Cheese. Instead of the insanely loud, blood curdling screaming and crying, she could have just asked me for it. Nope, she decided to lose her tiny little mind over some cheese, while completely making sure my nerves were shot! As if this was not enough, she has now been in her crib for the past 10 minutes screaming at the top of her lungs, because she obviously does not want to take the nap, the same exact nap that she takes every single day, at the same exact time since she has been a year old. For those wondering, that makes it an almost solid year of the exact same routine. This is the first time she has ever done this.

So, as I am typing away on my laptop, I am also listening to the amazing musical stylings of my 22 month olds, screaming, and pleading of many different types of extremely loud noises. On top of that, my husband who is at work in NYC decides to call me on video phone to show me how he’s riding around his office on a tricycle. Yes, you read that correctly, while I am home about to literally rip my hair out, he is just having the time of his life riding around a totally empty office building and laughing with his fellow employees. Don’t get me wrong I love my husband and father of my demon child, I just wish maybe I could spend my days riding around an office on a tricycle, skateboard, regular old bicycle, or really anything instead of being here trapped with what looks like my daughter, but I am pretty sure is some kind of tiny psycho imposter.

Well, since Rylie (my daughter) still hasn’t stopped screaming, I am going to go get her and see what in the hell is going on with her. All you mothers out there who can relate, please leave a comment below, and also say a prayer, or whatever it is you do for me, so that I get through this day without ripping out all my hair or scheduling a flight to some far away tropical island where my husband can come home and deal with all this. Especially since, I am pretty sure he thinks I sit home all day, watch TV, drink coffee, and lounge around.

See ya’ll next time when I can hopefully formulate a thought without a tiny human screaming so loud that, I can hardly even think straight!!!!!

Much love and respect to all my readers and fellow parents.  I will be back as soon as I have something worth writing, therefore being read by whoever decides to take part in this CRAZY ASS WOMAN’S MIND!

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